I am stuck within these four walls I call "home," does it really feel like home? No, not really.
I am always here, I have never been out with my friends for things like the cinema or
just to hangout with them, they've gone to cities, food places and parties without me. Some of them have asked me
if I would like to join but I always have to make an excuse to not go, because I am not allowed to go.
It does hurt sometimes, seeing my peers do things I can only dream of, freedom and money to do what they will.
I understand that social media is just highlights of people's lives and that the 'happiness' you see on it, is just
a single tiny moment in someone's life, but even then, that is what I want to experience. I wouldn't say I feel
jealousy or anything like that usually, but its sometimes hard to think that I could of had such a different life
if I was born else where, maybe better or maybe worse.
I don't really to know what to do, you can only study for so long with the noise in the background, I've tried drawing
but I am not good at it, nor can I waste paper on practicing, I don't have the motivation to study or do anything else.
I am mediocre at anything I have done. Maybe my lack of interests stems from my lack of experiences, with the only one I
have is just filled with endless noise.
I feel very lonely at times.